Nightmares

One afternoon, my colleague Thomas-Thomas approached me.

Shiela, I didn’t know you can speak Cantonese.  Since when?

What are you talking about?

I heard you and the cleaning lady talking to each other.  Lei Ho Ma, Ho Ho

And then?

I only heard up to that.   

I see.  You know Thomas-Thomas, after I said Lei Le and she responded in FULL Cantonese, I didn’t understand any single word.

Contest Chair, my Fellow Toastmasters and guests, do you find it challenging to communicate using your second language?

It was 8 years ago when I received an offer from a company in Bermuda, an English speaking Island.  They were hiring me as an Accountant.  While I was reading the contract, my academic report cards were flashing through my mind.

Math, Algebra, Calculus, Financial Accounting, straight A’s.

English, Grammar, Literature, Speech, straight C’s.

I don’t like English and it doesn’t like me to. 

Even though I know it will be difficult for me to communicate in Bermuda, I still accepted the job. 

And, there I was, before my eyes, my nightmares one by one haunted me.

1)      Nightmare no. 1

Fridays and Mondays.  Because, these are the days that my colleagues ask about my weekend activities.  Why do they care?  But I thought I need to be smart in answering so I prepared a script. 

If they will ask me what’s my plan, I will tell them - I WILL GO TO A PARK AND WILL READ A BOOK. 

And, on Mondays, my response would be - I WENT TO THE PARK AND READ A BOOK. 

2)      Nightmare no. 2

CONFERENCE calls where various parties are present.  From the client side, from Marketing, Legal and others.  During these calls, I would only speak two times. 

a.       First - Before the meeting starts - Good morning, this is Shiela from Accounting Dept.

b.      Second and Last - After the meeting - Thank you.  Bye

3)      Nightmare no. 3

COMPANY Meetings.  All my officemates were from North America, gweilo.  And since I was the only one from Asia, I always grabbed the attention of our guest speakers.  So, always, at the end of the meeting, they would ask me – do you have anything to share Shiela. I would not say any word but just shake my head.

My manager Daisy noticed my nightmares and during our one on one meeting, she said, Shiela, as a friendly advice if you want to be promoted, you have to improve your communication skills.  As usual, I didn’t say any word again.  But, at that moment, in my mind, I thought she was very daisy, very crazy.  Who would want to be promoted if promotion means more chit-chats, more phone calls and more meetings?  No way.

In six years, that same company relocated me from Bermuda to USA then to HK.

These moves brought me closer to my family in the Philippines.

It’s a blessing indeed but I felt that there’s still something missing.  I was only changing work locations but I was stuck in the same position. 

I remember my manager Daisy. If you want to be promoted, you have to improve your communication skills. I made up my mind, I got up, and told myself IT’S NOT OVER YET. I looked for ways to improve and I found South Horizons. In Toastmasters, I learned that spoken words are only 7% of communication, it’s the non-verbal communication that is more important and especially if we are really interested to the people we’re talking to. 

This mindset improved my communication skills. Since then I don’t care if my grammar is not perfect.  I just communicate; I even greet other nationalities in their own language -

Ni Hao Ma, Namaste, Aneong Haseo, etc.

Also, I’m proud to say that after 3 years, I am now the Assistant Vice President of our Team…. Our team of two where I report to Olivia Lau, our VPPR... South Horizons Toastmasters Club.

Ladies and gentlemen, I realized I’m not really after whether I’ll be promoted or not. What matters to me most is the improved relationship that I’m enjoying now.